July 10, 2024

Daily Dose Of Milk 7-10-2024

In my room, is a mirror that lies against the wall to the right of my bed. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone but myself in that mirror. It's one of the few things I brought down to LA when I moved. I thought by now I would’ve seen someone else reflection in it. I look at myself in that mirror every day. With a perspective of its own, it looks back at me. I find it funny that I’ll never get to see myself. The only version I’ve ever seen is my reflection. Knowing this makes it hard not to think about the weight a mirror holds. This all-seeing eye is almost god-like. Are they even all made the same? I know sometimes mine makes me feel skinnier than my scale does. 

How would I look if someone else was reflecting in the same mirror I was? Would I look like me? When I think about it, you only really share space in a mirror’s reflection with strangers and people you're incredibly close with. In places like the airport, or your room with the door closed. Somewhere I heard some voice in the distance say that you don’t know someone until you travel with them. What does that say about all the stranger's reflections I see in airport bathrooms before we board a plane together? Do I know them? Technically we’re traveling together. Then again you never really know someone let alone someone you shared a 5 second stare with in an airport bathroom. 

These thoughts crossed my mind pulling out of the Eagle Rock Taco Bell parking lot last night. In the blur, that moment of transition when you exit a group and return to your solo experience. I hate that moment, sometimes I feel it blur with each step toward my car. Once in it alone, it's what I imagine severance to be like. The person I was 30 seconds ago is gone and the person who parked with the car three hours ago is back. Tasked to think about anything or nothing I decided to think about myself. Unhappy that everyone was going home and now I was too, alone with the weight of two beers on my face and mind. I knew across from my bed with my freshly washed sheets lying atop, my mirror would lay. To the right on the wall closet to the bathroom

Once again to end my day in the same manner I started it. I would be forced to see myself fill the frame of the mirror, Nobody there to share the space with. There is so much space in this room that the mirror doesn't show when you look straight on. In my room there's so much space to fill. So much to see but I just see myself, In this room alone. Nothing happens in this room that exists outside of it. It’s all just a blur. I don’t want to be alone but more than I desire that. I want someone to step foot in my room. To see me. To know that I exist in this room and outside of it. To have someone who can tell you that there's a picture of a Washington state ferry above that mirror. The mirror that lies against the wall to the right of my bed. On the wall closest to the bathroom. 



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